Smack Daily Reminder

COLTS INSIDER DRAFT DAY UPDATE

Colts CSO Jim Irsay tweets out pic of the Colts war room...



Irsay stated his table was ready for the upcoming draft day, and noted another table for his booze was still being stocked.

When asked his strategy for this years draft, Irsay slurred out something that was later translated as "don't matter, suck, we suck...who we pick will start sucking then".

Colts are expected to pick a player to suck, as usual.

 

Goodell just did it again! Every year he says the same thing...




but not as much as

 

Grigson and Pagano must have really been snockered when they drafted this loser. But hey, he obviously SUCKS big time, so he'll fit right in as a perfect Colt.

 

COLTS POST-DRAFT PRESS CONFERENCE (Indianapolis)

Colts officials had been boozing it up since Thursday morning so their slurred statements were mostly unintelligible. However, one half-sober Colts employee was located, who was able to interpret some of the gibberish. Most of the slurred comments contained the word SUCK, with references to players who sucked, and variations of the phrase, "Yeah, we're Colts, suck, suck, we still suck."

The Colts employee stated that CSO Jim Irsay had also provided staffers with plenty of percocet, oxycodone, xanax, quaaludes, valium and dozens of other prescription drugs from his personal stash for the three days of the draft and had well-stocked open bars in each room in and around the Colts war room.


Irsay was also heard to mumble something to the effect that the Colts were better prepared for the draft than any other team since other teams slept every night. It was learned that the Colts stayed awake with plenty of speed, meth, coke and crack, which Irsay thought also helped them make better decisions during the draft.

When asked if there was anything he would have done differently, Irsay responded that he wished the Colts had drafted that guy who was smoking some shit out of a gas mask. Irsay slurred something that sounded like the Colts missed the bong that time around but maybe they could like make a trade for that dude and his gas mask.

 

AFTERMATH OF COLTS 2016 DRAFT

The janitorial staff at the Colts offices has a lot to clean up today...