RIP dad

Late getting to this, but very sorry to hear it. Never easy, but hope you're doing ok.

 

Haven't been on here that much, due to the off season, but I saw this thread and I'm sorry to hear about your loss, Cruds.

As much as we all don't agree on certain things, we can all step down to Earth as Titan fans on things like this. Again, I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Stay strong, Cruds.

 

I just saw this thread- I am sorry for your loss. I lost my father about 10 years ago and we also did not have a close relationship. It was tough for me because I had always held out hope that some day we would both be interested in developing the type of father-son relationship that I thought was ideal. Although we tried a couple of times to get together to fish, golf and watch ball games, it just never developed the way I thought it would. I'm sure he felt the same way though I could never tell from his words or actions.

Over the past few years I've come to understand that his generation of fathers was simply different from our own. He, like your father, was a brilliant mind and very accomplished in his career. He also happened to be a decorated veteran (Marine) who saw active duty in the Korean conflict. His sister tells me his personality was never the same after he returned from active duty. He was charming and eloquent with others, but somewhat distant and impersonal with those closest to him.

I was angry and felt short-changed with the relationship for many years before and after his death. I have four children of my own and I now appreciate that he has influenced the type of father I am to them in so many ways. I have accepted that the way our relationship was how it was intended to be and honestly believe it has made me a better father for my own children than it would have been if the relationship were what I considered "ideal". I also have "forgiven" him for many things he didn't do that I believe he should have when I came to this realization. That has allowed me to fondly remember the times (albeit few) we had together that were really fun and to forget the painful memory of absent times.

Time does heal all wounds. I am truly sorry for your loss and the unpleasant business aspects that result from a death of a parent. I hope my sharing these few comments will help ease any pain you might be experiencing with the loss of your father.

With Agape love,

rm