Bipolar Disorder

Remember, you can usually get Titans tickets on the cheap before gametime.

 

Man, it sounds like you had an acute manic episode last year and have had an episode of depression. That makes you Bipolar 2 like you said. If it was simply hypo-mania with a depressive episode it could be called bipolar 1. Bipolar 2 is very similar to cyclothymia which might be a more accurate diagnosis, but that could only be determined by someone who observed your mania in a clinical environment. You need to ask yourself what kind of false cognitions you may of had. I see that they have you on an anti-psychotic and that suggests that you did in fact experience delusions. Did you think that you were a rock star or that you could sleep with any woman you set your mind on? Maybe be a bit paranoid thinking that you were followed or were being tested by a supreme being? Those kind of features are common in mania and you are not alone. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Now, about the Risperdal, or Haldol, or whatever the f@#$ you are taking... that's what is making you feel so... crappy, heavy, ill, nauseous, & groggy... Try to get off that one. If you are not outwardly psychotic anymore then try to get off it. For Christ Sake please stay on your stabilizers. Lithium is a good and proven drug. It's simple, it has relatively few side effects. It will make you sick as hell if you take too much. It's toxic and blood work should be done to monitor it. Ask your Doctor about Depakote. Yes, I read your posts. Every word. I realize you are off the meds and feel fine. It can't be that way forever. I'd like to save you a whole world of $#!t. What happened to you WILL HAPPEN AGAIN. IT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN. For the love of Christ and God as my witness if you don't follow medical advice you will experience another manic episode and risk having another psychotic break. This kind of break is like a 55 gallon drum of oil rolling down a hill. It doesn't take long before before it can't be stopped. I know you don't believe me, but I'm going to give you a stern warning. Be especially careful during the spring and fall. Right now you are prone to having an episode because of the season. April and March are high tide for bipolar disorder. Ask anyone who works in a psychiatric hospital how many new cases and return customers they see in spring and autumn. It's possible to lose your s#!t in a matter of days. You are really playing with something you don't understand. I have had a number of hospitalizations before I finally learned and now that I've drank the kool aid for the past five years I'm basically symptom free save the occasional MILD elevated mood and MILD depressive state... but that seems outwardly normal rather than pathological. Nobody really knows what's going on. Also, you are your own worst Doctor. You have no perspective on yourself. No more than I had on myself and when i was twenty right off the heels of my third psychotic break I was convinced that I didn't need anything from anyone. I lived that lie for a few years but I was crazy.. except I didn't know it myself. Just forgive your Dad and try to use the help afforded you. You can start to feel a new normal once you get off the anti psychotics and don't listen to anyone that tells you you should try to sleep on your own when you obviously can't. You will just convince yourself that you don't really need sleep and that you're John The Baptist or some $#!t.

 

take SEC 330 BIPOLAR's advice dude

 

RavensShallBurn, I'm sorry about the hell you've been living in. I agree with SEC that going back and forth taking meds, then not taking them- and then not getting help- is like tampering with napalm.

To answer your question about whether others have had it-yes- I was misdiagnosed with clinical depression. Somehow, I kept "feeling better" and telling myself the hard times were behind me, and then I felt like sh*t the next day, not knowing what was going on- and the process repeated.

Then I found out my mood was growing more unstable and I was losing my social life more by the day. I soon found myself getting paranoid with people, always in a pissy mood, my reputation going down the crapper, missing two high school graduations in a row, getting evicted from my apartment, and ultimately losing my job. I found out there was no way in hell I was just "depressed," but I didn't have any answers for all these atrocities I kept committing.

In 2004, my dad helped me try again, at a different hospital, where I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder type 1- the "severe" kind, so I can actually relate to a lot of what you've been through, man. But telling yourself you can handle life entirely on your own and don't need meds and things of that nature- those signs usually do point to trouble.

You all saw the way I "interacted" with this board- a lot more negative than positive. I had to get meds adjusted, find outlets (social interaction, groups, therapy, etc.), and contribute to my well-being on my own terms. Yeah, getting better is definitely not an overnight process.

I understand if you didn't get optimal treatment, but I would be very careful about letting emotions influence your behavior. In fact, I don't recommend emotion-driven behavior. It has taken me several years to get past that, come back to earth and reclaim my senses again. Conflict and hard times will never go away. I've even made enemies HERE for that matter. It's the way you deal with adversity that makes all the difference.

I third SEC's advice, RavensShallBurn. This kind of problem calls for a true professional.

 

Go ahead and ignore good advice. It's not like I'm talking from fifteen years of experience, ten of which I spent in denial. You must be right. You are the exception. Because, you know, every bipolar feels EXACTLY the way you described it. Oh, I feel FINE now... there's nothing wrong with me anymore. I don't need to take that medicine. I may have been sick then, but I'm ok NOW...

Give me a break. Next year or whenever it is you have another another episode that results in a psychotic break... or you end up being the crazed fan that kills Peyton Manning... start us a thread from jail or wherever you end up so we'll know about how wrong we were about you. What the f@ck did you come to this forum for? It obviously wasn't advice. What did you want our sympathy? Our pity?

Listen, I can promise you that within a relatively short space of time you will have another extreme episode. Like 2 years or something. In the mean time you will think that you "feel fine" but you will experience fits of rage and the deepest sorrow and hardly understand why. Hell, if we're lucky you could end up being the crazed fan that murders Peyton Manning! You might be famous!

Have you had a depressive psychosis yet? Those are TONS of fun. You'll love it dude. Everything will scare the bejeebees out of you. You will swear that someone is coming to reap you of your soul. It's nothing at all fun like the mania. How'd you like the mania, eh? It was fun wasn't it? It was kind of like getting high... or snorting blow?? I bet you kind of miss that rush of fun.

Don't worry Jack, you've got a pretty fair chance to experience it again and now that since you already have experienced it it can happen just that much easier for you. Just be sure to drink plenty of beer and wine and stay out late at clubs. Oh yeah, take some amphetamines if you really want to throw some wood in the burner of that crazy train locomotive...

Oh yeah, you said you didn't have the interest to go to college... well guess what... It's because you don't have the tools. You couldn't go if you wanted to. So just plan on making less money for the rest of your life.. And one more thing... next time you get to the hospital... be sure to have the Geodon between your Haldol and Thorazine injections. Geodon will just turn you inside out like you are a damn heroine addict going through withdrawals. Enjoy that one! :thumb:

:chicken: cluck, cluck, click this :chicken:

please! Take responsibility for your own stupid decisions. Be sure to come back and open a new thread next year or year after next when all of this happens again. We'd love to hear about it.

 

Long story short, you need to go back to some sort of psychiatrist or specialist for, at the least, a second opinion on what sounds like a legitimate incident of mania and a subsequent depressive episode. You could be suffering by a type of hypomania, it could be type 2 bi-polar disorder, it could be something else. The point is, none of us on here are qualified professionals, even if we do (and I do believe this, given the responses) have experience with the disease. Bottom-line, this is the advice I'd like to give you, and sincerely hope you take.

1) Do not believe this was an isolated incident and that through will-power you can control it. It is a myth that willpower will get your through mental disorder and disease. That is dangerous thinking, and potentially destructive.

2) One of the biggest issues with hypomania/bi-polar and it's concurrent symptoms is that they are not necessarily patterned. There can be feelings of normalcy, especially with hypomania, and then a sudden plunge back into mania and subsequent depression. You, as an individual, cannot predict this on your own.

3) Not all doctors are competent, and not all will be an ideal or effective fit for you. That does not mean they are all quacks, they are all ineffective, and they are merely a means to failure, wasted time, or even danger to you. The side-effects for the medications you mentioned can be common, and they can be as horrible as you mentioned. That doesn't mean medication is pointless or a detriment as a whole. It's going to take time, tinkering, and weighted decisions by you and your doctor.

Overall, I wish you the best, and I hope you heed my advice. If I can help in any way, I'll do my very best. But if absolutely nothing else, I hope you look for professional help, and don't truly abandon all psychiatric avenues for help.