Dan Marino Squeezes Harder And Harder During Congratulatory Handshake With Peyton Manning MIAMI—During a post-Super Bowl handshake between former Miami Dolphins quarterback Dan Marino and MVP Peyton Manning, the Colts quarterback reported that Marino gradually increased the pressure of his grip to the point where, by the end of the 10-second exchange, it was as if Marino was attempting to hurt Manning rather than congratulate him. "At first he was smiling and telling me how great he thought I played, but as the grip got firmer, he started talking through clenched teeth about how lucky I was to win a Super Bowl," Manning said, adding that the more Marino's grip increased, the less sincere his comments seemed. "Towards the end [of the handshake], he was just glaring at me, saying, 'I would kill to be you right now.'" Manning said that the handshake finally ended when the "crazy" look in Marino's eyes eventually disappeared. http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/dan_marino_squeezes_harder And to those of you who haven't heard of the onion.. well its an extremely credible source of news and they constantly deliver true, unbiased and uncensored reports. :grrhee:
Favre Announces He Will Return To College Football HATTIESBURG, MS—Quarterback Brett Favre responded Saturday to the question of whether or not he had any football left in him by announcing that he would return for at least one more season at a major college program. "I'd like to win one more championship before I retire for good, and Southern Miss, Tennessee, and Florida all have talented young squads that could make a real run to number one next year," said Favre, who has been recruited by several top programs but will wait until after Signing Day to commit to a school. "I know I still have a ways to go with my decision-making, but I know I'd be the kind of quarterback that could grow along with a program." Although scouts from several Division I teams are interested in Favre, they noted that he played an option scheme in high school and seemed noncommittal about maintaining the required 2.25 GPA. http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/favre_announces_he_will