Facts about Critical Theory, Yes they are real facts

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by CriticalTheory, Sep 8, 2006.

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  1. CriticalTheory

    CriticalTheory WestSide 718 ShadowMafia!

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    -CRITICAL IS SO STRONG WEIGHTS LIFT THEMSELVES WHEN HE IS AROUND.

    -CRITICAL DOESNT KICK *****, CRITICAL BEATS THE HELL OUT OF MOFO'S

    -BEFORE NASA HAD A LAUNCH PAD, CRITICAL USED TO THROW THE SHUTTLE INTO ORBIT

    -WHEN CRITICAL STARTED ACTING IN ACTION MOVIES THEY CHANGED THE CATEGORY OF HIS MOVIES TO DOCUMENTARIES BECAUSE IT WAS TOO REAL

    -ARNOLD, RAMBO, AND CHUCK RETIRED WHEN CRITICAL MOVED TO HOLLYWOOD

    -THE DEVIL CALLED CRITICAL AND SAID 'CRITICAL ARE YOU TRYING TO TAKE MY JOB", CRITICAL HUNG UP IN HIS FACE

    -WHEN CRITICAL GETS PULLED OVER BY THE COPS, THEY SEE ITS CRITICAL AND WRITE THEMSELVES A CITATION

    -CRITICAL WALKED THE GREEN MILE.....THEN CAME BACK WITH SOME 'JUNIORS' CHEESECAKE

    -CRITICAL USES THE INTESTINES OF VIET-CONG SOLDIERS TO JUMP ROPE
    -WHEN CRITICAL GOES TO SUBWAY, THEY LET CRITICAL WALK BEHIND THE COUNTER AND MAKE HIS OWN FOOD

    -WITH ONE LOOK CRITICAL MAKES SAMUEL JACKSON PUT ON HIS INSIDE VOICE

    -WHEN CRITICAL DRIVES LIGHTS TURN GREEN BECAUSE THEY KNOW CRITICAL AINT HAVING THAT STOPPING MESS

    [​IMG]

    -CRITICAL DOESNT YAHOO CHAT...YAHOO CHATS WITH CRITICAL

    -GRAVITY IS EVEN SCARED OF CRITICAL, THAT IS WHY HE LEVITATES EVERYWHERE HE GOES

    -CRISS ANGEL TRIED TO MAKE CRITICAL DISAPPEAR, SO CRITICAL MADE CHRIS ANGELS TEETH DISSAPEAR DOWN HIS THROAT

    -DAVID BLAINES NEXT STUNT WILL BE SURVIVING IN A SMALL ROOM WITH AN ANGRY CRITICAL THEORY

    -CRITICAL IS SO INTIMIDATING EVEN JAY-Z ADMITTED TO WILLIE THAT HE BIT BIGGIES LYRICS, APOLOGIZED THEN OFFERED BEYONCE AS A GIFT

    -SUPERHEAD TRIED TO DOME CRITICAL , SHE HAD TO HAVE HER JAW REATTATCHED LATER THAT NIGHT

    -WHEN CRITICAL TAKES A DUMP, IT ALWAYS SMELLS LIKE ISSEY MIYAKE

    -CRITICAL WENT TO CHINA WHEN THE POPULATION WAS 100,000, WHEN HE LEFT THEY HAD OVER A BILLION...YOU DO THE MATH.

    -WHEN CRITICAL FARTS, GLASS SHATTERS.

    -CRITICAL PLAYED CHESS ONE TIME, WHEN CRITICAL SAT DOWN, THE KING PIECE GAVE UP IMMEDIATELY.

    -BUMS DONT ASK CRITICAL FOR CHANGE, BECAUSE THEORY SMACKS THE HELL OUT OF EM IF THEY DO.

    -CRITICAL CAN EAT LOADS OF RIBS AND NOT GET THE 'ITIS'.

    -CRITICAL DOESNT NEED MONEY, ANYWHERE HE GOES HE JUST STUFFS A BASKET AND WALKS THE HELL OUT WITH NO QUESTIONS ASKED.

    -WHEN CRITICAL WAS A KID....ACTUALLY CRITICAL FELL OUT THE HOLE FULL GROWN & FULLY CLOTHED.

    [​IMG]

    -CRITICAL WENT TO A PRINCE CONCERT, JUST TO SMACK THAT LITTLE MOTHERFOCKER OUT OF HIS METROSEXUAL MINDSTATE.

    -WHEN CRITICAL SHAVES HE DOESNT NEED RAZORS, HE JUST PUTS SHAVING CREME ON HIS FINGER AND SLIDES IT DOWN HIS CHEEK.

    -CRITICAL DOESNT HAVE TO LOOK FOR OSAMA, WHEN OSAMA FOUND OUT CRITICAL WANTED TO KNOW WHERE HE WAS OSAMA CALLED CRITICAL'S CELL PHONE IMMEDIATELY.

    -CRITICAL FISHES BY YELLING AT THE WATER "GET IN THE F*CKIN BOAT" AND LOADS OF FISH JUST JUMP INTO CRITICALS NET.

    -CRITICAL DOESNT NEED A GUN, HE JUST SWALLOWS BOXES OF BULLETS AND SPITS THEM OUT AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT

    [​IMG]

    -CRITICAL HAS NEVER LOST A GAME OF CONNECT FOUR.....EVER.

    -CRITICAL IS THE ONLY MAN IN HISTORY TO HAVE HIS OWN COMMUNITY CHEAST CARD ON MONOPOLY...'EVERYONE PAY WILLE BEAMON 500.00 OR GET ****ED UP"

    -CRITICAL IS THE ONLY MOTHERFOCKER STEVE JAMES IS SCARED OF.

    -CRITICAL SWEATS NAPALM AND PISSES HYDROCHLORIC ACID.

    -CRITICALTOLD 'BIG PAPI' HE LOOKED LIKE ESTER ROLLE....AND BIG PAPI
    LOOKED DOWN AT THE GROUND ACCEPTED THE JOKE AS TRUTH.

    -WHAT WE KNOW AS HMB IS ACTUALLY CRITICAL SALIVA.

    -CRITICAL ONCE FLIPPED A BOOGER AND KILLED THREE BYSTANDERS.

    -THE FROST ON WILLIES FLAKES IS ACTUALLY ANTHRAX DUST, WHICH CRITICAL FINDS TASTY

    [​IMG]

    -MIKE TYSON WAS NEVER THE SAME AFTER SPARRING WITH CRITICAL

    -WHEN CRITICAL HITS A HOMERUN...NOONE EVER CATCHES THE BALL, UNLESS YOU LIVE ON THE MOON

    -CRITICAL DOESNT NEED TO IMPRESS WOMEN, THEY JUST GET NAKED AND HAVE ORGASMS FROM SMELLING CRITICAL AND BEING IN HIS PRESENCE

    -CRITICAL ARMS ARE SO HUGE EVEN HIS CHURCH SUITS HAVE NO SLEEVES

    -CRITICAL EYESIGHT IS SO PRECISE HE CAN PUNCH A GNAT IN THE EYE WITHOUT KNOCKING THE GNAT OUT THE AIR

    -WHEN GROWN WOMEN WANT THEIR GROOVE BACK, THEY CALL CRITICAL NOT DEXTER..

    -CRITICAL DOESNT SLEEP, NOR BLINK....WHEN HE DOES BLINK THAT IS EQUIVALENT TO 8HRS REST.

    #1
  2. titanbuoy

    titanbuoy medium rare ®

    Joined:
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    -Critical has been hanging around with Chuck Norris too much. :))
    #2
  3. SEC 330 BIPOLAR

    SEC 330 BIPOLAR jive turkey

    Joined:
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    Critical needs to post in the lounge.:chuck:
    #3
  4. Crash Override

    Crash Override inVINCEable

    Joined:
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    1,366
    Critical needs to lay off the drugs.
    #4
  5. The Don

    The Don Upsetting The Apple Cart

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    If the season gets out of hand, I saw we build a cage and raise some money for Gotitans.com.

    Can you go three minutes with Critical?
    #5
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