Jokes

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by GoT, May 23, 2006.

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  1. GoT

    GoT Strength and Honor

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    One day an Englishman, an American, and a Australian walked into a pub together. They proceeded to each buy a pint of Melbouorne Bitter. Just as they were about to enjoy their beverages, three flies landed in each of their pints.

    The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust. The American
    fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if
    nothing happened. The Australian picked the fly out of his drink and started
    shaking it over the pint, yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT !!!"
     
    #1 GoT, May 23, 2006
    • Bullsh*t Bullsh*t x 1
  4. GoT

    GoT Strength and Honor

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    A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells
    the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few
    minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the
    story?"

    He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor."

    She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
     
    #2 GoT, May 23, 2006
    • Bullsh*t Bullsh*t x 1
  7. TitanJeff

    TitanJeff Kahuna Grande Staff

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    My fav:

    Two old men are sitting on the front porch rocking the day away. An old coon dog is laying beside them licking himself where dogs are prone to lick.

    One old man says to the other, "I sure wish I could do that."

    The other old man replied, "Go ahead, he ain't a mean dog."
     
    #3 TitanJeff, May 23, 2006
  10. TitanKid4Life

    TitanKid4Life Guest

    alright heres mine

    why did the chicken cross the road??
    because there was food on the other side!!!!
     
    #4 TitanKid4Life, May 23, 2006
  13. LazyManJackson

    LazyManJackson Starter

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    Mines funny but rude
     
    #5 LazyManJackson, May 23, 2006
  16. avvie

    avvie It's another cold day in Hell Tip Jar Donor

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    Different punchline, spoke in slow Southern drawl:


    "Oooh, he would biiiiite yooouu!"
     
    #6 avvie, May 23, 2006
  19. avvie

    avvie It's another cold day in Hell Tip Jar Donor

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    BTW, did you know that Helen Keller's favorite color is cordoroy?


    Some German humor:
    "What is romantic?"
    "When a man strokes a woman tenderly with a feather."

    "What is perverse?"
    "When the chicken is still attached."
     
    #7 avvie, May 23, 2006
  22. PhiSlammaJamma

    PhiSlammaJamma Critical Possession

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    Why are people in New York depressed all the time?
    The light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey.
     
    #8 PhiSlammaJamma, May 24, 2006
  25. Gunny

    Gunny Shoutbox Fuhrer

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    :ha:
     
    #9 Gunny, May 24, 2006
  28. TitanJeff

    TitanJeff Kahuna Grande Staff

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    I think I like your version better! :brow:
     
    #10 TitanJeff, May 24, 2006
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