Most complicated auction in the history of Ebay

Saw this one posted on another forum I visit. Absolutely unbelievable.

Most complicated auction in the history of Ebay

Here's the text... go to the restroom, get a cup of coffee, find a comfortable seat...

"Hello, and welcome to my hockey jersey auction!

Please take the time to read this entire description. With the responses I have been getting so far, a lot of questions are already answered in the information below. It should only take a few minutes.

***DO NOT USE THE “BUY IT NOW” FEATURE***
***ONLY USE THE “BEST OFFER” FEATURE IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO MAKE A PURCHASE (explained below)***

This is one of many auctions to come, for I have decided, with much regret, to sell off my personal collection of over 200 NHL replica hockey jerseys. This collection consists of current, defunct, vintage, classic, and special series’ (different or altered color schemes) jerseys and sweaters.

First let me get into the important stuff in regards to how these auctions will work:

VERY VERY VERY IMPORTANT: This auction is NOT being sold as a ‘LOT’. The asking price (or whatever “BEST OFFER” we may settle on) is PER EACH jersey. This auction is for however many jerseys it says are available (those pictured and listed below) but the purchase price is for one and only one jersey. I wanted to make that very clear. Please note, there is only one of each jersey pictured, but you can purchase however many different jerseys as you like. Also, you may see the same jersey in more than one auction, but there is still only one of those jerseys.


VERY VERY IMPORTANT:
Please do not use “BUY IT NOW” to purchase a jersey. Use the “BEST OFFER” feature instead, whether you are making an offer lower than my asking price, or agreeing to whatever price I am asking for. If you are agreeing to my asking price of $49.99, enter your “BEST OFFER” as $49.99. For those jerseys that I am asking more for, and that you are agreeing to, enter your “BEST OFFER” at whatever that price may be. Please add a note on which jersey(s) you are making an offer for (Click the "Additional terms" link on the offer sheet. State which jersey in the message box that appears. Copy and Paste works well). Doing things this way, I will be able to accept or decline offers in the order I get them and will keep from having more than one person purchasing the same jersey. Please realize that if an offer is accepted, it will initiate a purchase. Don’t make an offer unless you are willing to pay that amount. I will do my best to update the listing when purchases are made so you will know which jerseys are not available anymore. These updates will be added at the very end of this description area, just above the picture.

For those making offers for more than one jersey on a offer sheet, it can work one of two ways. If the prices for the jerseys are the same amount, enter the offer amount at the price of on jersey and change the 'quantity' amount to however many jerseys you are making the offer for. If the jerseys have differing prices, enter the offer amount at the total of all prices and leave the 'quantity' amount at '1'.

At the moment, I am firm on my prices. I am not really looking for lower offers, but the offer system works better for the way I am running these auctions. It doesn't hurt to ask though.

Each jersey, whether listed or unlisted, will go to the first person that makes an acceptable offer for it, through the “BEST OFFER” feature only. All offers, accepted or declined, are listed and have the time of the offer logged under the ‘Purchases’ link on each auction page. These are there for everyone to see. We may have discussions about jerseys and deals through email and ebay messages, but in the end, “BEST OFFER” is the only way to make a purchase. It makes everything official and fair to all. No privileged information will be given about anyone else’s intentions towards a jersey(s). Basically first come, first served.


VERY IMPORTANT: Because of time restraints, all my jerseys may not be listed at the same time. If you are looking for something I do not have listed, don’t hesitate to ask if I have it. With over 200 different jerseys, there is a good chance I do (or did and it was already sold). I will eventually have pictures of all of my jerseys and can email them to you to be sure it is what you are looking for.

IMPORTANT: Please, please, please wait for a final invoice that states it is the one to be used for payment. With my shipping discount for multiple purchases (50% off each additional item’s shipping charges), “BEST OFFERS” I may accept and those rare jerseys I am asking more for, I may have to change some numbers on the invoice that is generated and resend it to the buyer. Also, if items are paid for before I send a correct invoice and it works in my favor, I WILL NOT give a refund for what was overpaid.

If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to ask!

Most of my jerseys are a size ADULT XL. There are a few that are sized other than XL. These will be noted. All jerseys are air-knit semi-pro replicas.

If you need measurements, I can get you measurements. I will not take any returns due to the jersey being the wrong size.

The jerseys are sold “AS-IS”, with no returns, unless I have made a mistake in my descriptions, answers to questions, and of course if I happen to ship the incorrect jersey. I will reimburse for return shipping charges in these instances.

The asking price of $49.99 is not set in stone. You can use the “BEST OFFER” feature to make me an offer. I must say, though, that with how much jerseys go for, my asking price is a great deal for the condition they are in, and I may be pretty firm on the price. While not brand new, most of these jerseys have hardly been worn, if ever. Just about all are in MINT / NEAR MINT condition.

You will see certain jerseys throughout these auctions that will have a special price next to them in the list. These are rare, hard to find, or jerseys that were more expensive than the norm. These prices supersede the $49.99 asking price and the difference will be added onto the final invoice."

 

descriptive, huh? :ha:

 

:ha: :ha: :ha: You must not have read the whole thing then, because I did and I only have 34 questions.

 

Yeah, I don't do much ebay selling. I wonder if he's doing all this just to try to avoid a listing fee or something? At any rate, it's ridiculous. If someone is crazy enough to write up a list of instructions like that, there's no way I'm doing business with them.